Oregon recently passed a law making false allegations a class A crime — but the punishment is $750, and that requires proving “the intent to influence a custody, parenting time, visitation or child support decision (419B.016 Offense of false report of child abuse).”

It is not much, but then again, most states make no effort to punish false allegations.

As a lawyer, Jeanne M. Hannah points out: “These false allegations can not only make the family law case much more difficult and lead to terrible injustice, they can ruin parent-child relationships and change lives forever. I find myself hoping more states will enact such laws and wondering whether the law will make a difference.” Good thinking Jeanne.

Faith and divorce mediator Bruce Clements agreed that the focus of divorce should shift to the children. Judges and mediators should put this question front and center: “What do you want for your children?” They advocate collaborate divorce to prevent the “poisoning” of children by one of the parents. Bruce Clements has published ten previous books. He lives in Windham, Connecticut.

The respected Pew Research Center found that 69 percent of those questioned said they believe a child needs a father in the home to grow up happily. But 27% of dads surveyed live separately from their children, up from 11% in 1960.
Here is a link to an article about the Pew study: http://www.cnn.com/2011/LIVING/06/15/fathers.pew.study/index.html?iref=obinsite

HB 6085: AN ACT CONCERNING PARENTAL ALIENATION
Purpose: To establish an offense of parental alienation in order to protect a child from acts of one parent that are intended to break the emotional bond between the other parent and the child.
Text of the bill: That the general statutes be amended to establish an offense of parental alienation, which shall (1) consist of, but not be limited to, acts of one parent to interfere with the parent-child relationship of the other parent by means of phone or electronic communication or interference with a child visitation schedule, and (2) constitute abuse against the child for the purposes of the general statutes, except that the penalty shall be one hundred dollars for the first offense and the loss of any right to sole-custody for the second offense.

The Shared Parenting Council of Connecticut was hosted by Fr. Russ on his TV show, Thursday December 9, 2010. Please comment here.

I have found that the single most important theme of my parenting style is consistency to the point of being ridiculous with carefully orchestrated periods of total or near-total insanity.
I feel very protective of our time together, so I have resisted enrolling the kids in large numbers of activities. In lieu of filling all their “free-time” with planned activities (and chauffeuring), we spend a lot of time just hanging out together. This works really well for their current age range (5 to 10 years). This is difficult when your ex believes in enrolling the kids in enough organized activities to fill almost all of their time. We have it in our separation agreement that this will be limited to one activity per weekend. School related activities on weeknights are usually not a big issue.
In short- being with dad is just that- a time when they share “my life” and vice versa. We have fun and we get done the stuff that needs to get done. It isn’t a special time when rules don’t apply or special rules apply.
I feel that it has been VERY important to resist arguing with my ex in person or otherwise within earshot of the kids. Also, I feel that it has also been crucial not to badmouth my ex. In fact, it almost goes without saying that whatever happens at “mommies house” is under her roof, her rules, her lifestyle, etc. This is not to say that my ex and I don’t “discuss” their behavior and their lives behind the scenes. But, more often than not, I have had to deal with the question “do they do this to you?…” in terms of daily interactions and parental treatment. On this front, in my case, I feel that a single parent has to pretty much rely on generating, sticking to and enforcing their own set of rules in their household.
It sort of goes without saying that the no badmouthing rule is necessarily a unilateral decision and may not be reciprocal- just as personal parenting styles are just that.
Your ex needs you. This can be demonstrated in several of ways. Gently establish your worth as a parent.
“We must be the change we wish to see.” M.K. Gandhi. Men rarely want sole custody of their children; most women don’t either, but may think that it will cost them to give up joint custody. Therefore, if shared parenting is what we want, then we must establish a good working relationship with the ex spouse. Each parent must do his or her best for their children. Stop to think, what is best for the kids.
Keep your long run goal in mind: shared parenting. Let small stuff go. Choose battles carefully.
Make them clean their room! At least once in a while. If they don’t have any respect for their space, they will have none for anyone else’s.
New Dad? Need help with your baby’s sleeping, feeding, crying, and diapers? Contact:
Connecticut Clearinghouse

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Plainville, CT 06062
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