Several bills have been introduced into the legislature, including SB 77, Presumption of Shared Custody and HB5436 concerning parental alienation during custody proceedings. Read the 25+ comments below.

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  1. One aspect of the bill concerns me:
    penalty shall be one hundred dollars for the first offense and the loss of any right to sole-custody for the second offense

    That seems too extreme to me. It seems to me that there should be a documented pattern of offenses – say more than 5 offenses before loss of parenting time/rights.
    What do you think?

  2. The meat of the bill is as follows:

    “That the general statutes be amended to establish an offense of parental alienation, which shall (1) consist
    of, but not be limited to, acts of one parent to interfere with the parent-child relationship of the other
    parent by means of phone or electronic communication or interference with a child visitation schedule,
    and (2) constitute abuse against the child for the purposes of the general statutes, except that the penalty
    shall be one hundred dollars for the first offense and the loss of any right to sole-custody for the second

    I would think we would all be in favor of a bill that would deal with “acts of one parent to interfere with the parent-child relationship of the other parent by means of phone or electronic communication or interference with a child visitation schedule”, where such acts are unjustified, be it parental alienation or whatever designation one might think most appropriate. In such cases I do think that kind of action does “constitute abuse against the child”. And, when such acts are unjustified, I do not think a first offense penalty of one hundred dollars is at all excessive.

    The “loss of any right to sole-custody for the second offense” would, of course, only be possible for a parent who actually did have sole custody, meaning the other parent just has the “visitation”, which is the situation the proposed law is exclusively attempting to deal with. Though not specifically stated, the “loss of any right to sole-custody” would seem to say that the sole custody would be replaced by either shared custody or sole custody for the parent whom the offense was against, as a judge determines. I certainly don’t have any problem with that either.

    If, however, the “interfere(nce) with the parent-child relationship of the other parent by means of phone or electronic communication or interference with a child visitation schedule” is actually justified, as some seem to be concerned about, that should have to be proven “beyond a reasonable doubt”. I think this is critical, because the “reasons” inevitably given for such interference are typically some invented “justification”, such as, “That was the best time for me to schedule her for a swimming lesson, which is an important survival skill.” or “He doesn’t feed her at the right time.” Currently, since there is always a “reason” of some sort, the courts almost completely ignore interference with visitation by sole custody parents, letting the custodial parent do whatever they choose.

  3. I know all to well having been cornered, frustrated, falsely accused of how serious PAS is. Two lives are destroyed, a child and alienated parent. The punishment should be reversal of custodial rights immediately. Theropy for the parent with PAS. For cases where jail or arrest was made because of the PAS parents false accusations should be a large fine with jail time equal to the lengh of time the wrongly accused served. This is serious and ignored form of abuse.
    Mandatory lengthy class or training should be made law for all Court officials, Police, Attorneys, DCF, and Social services to learn all there is to know about PAS. Videos of real parents displaying what has happened to their lifes since PAS began.

  4. I am for the bill because the custodial parent is using the child in his/her campaign to eliminate the non-custodial parent for the child’s life. This is very sad. I am going through this with my boyfriend and it’s heartbreaking. The children have finally rejected a wonderful, loving and caring father because they don’t have the ability to understand what is being done to them. It’s very sad. Parental interference and parental alienation won’t stop until the alienating parent has consequences. The bill will help to eliminate parental interference and alienation.

  5. A few of our friends emailed their senator regarding these two bills and the only one that replied was Senator Fasano from East Haven and Wallingford. Thank you Senator Fasano!!!

    Thank you for your message to Senator Fasano regarding these two bills
    and non-custodial parental rights. Unfortunately, both these bills were
    referred to the Judiciary Committee in the beginning of the 2011
    Legislative Session (which has now ended) and were not acted on.

    For whatever reason, the Judiciary Committee choose not to hold public
    hearings on the bills so they are now “dead” for this year. It is
    possible that the sponsors of the bills will re-introduce them next
    year. Thank you for your concern and interest.

    Randa S. Utter
    Legislative Aide to State Senator Len Fasano
    Legislative Office Building
    Room 3400
    Hartford, CT 06106

    Tel.: 800-842-1421
    direct 860-240-8824

  6. I am all for the bill with some modifications. I will address only one modification.
    We can all agree that a parent who alienates by lying to the child about the character of the other parent, and interferes with visitation right of the other parent through deception is in the wrong.

    The bill should include commonly used strategies that interfere with visitation.

    For Example:
    Phoney allegations to get a protective order. If there is no evidence what so ever, never mind compelling evidence…

  7. Hello, I am trying to prepare my parent alienating case for a contempt and Modification hearing October 3rd Stamford, CT Court. My ten year old son’s Mom has been trying to alienate him from me since she married a Korean American for her papers, about seven years ago. She is Colombian now has her own home, car and good job. Good for her. I have put up with many things with her however I did not want to ever have the Court involved. One, it’s not good for the child and two, its embarrasing going to Court because two parents can’t just do what is right. Well, I have done all I can to be friendly but every time we see each other to transfer our son, she has a snotty, demeaning, authoritve look andmy son see’s this. This is a similar tactic as when she starts shouting on the phone to me, “Stop swearing and threatening me!” Of course my son is right there. It reached the serious stage 15 months ago when I recieved my first false accusation of sexual abuse to my son! DCF, Protective orders, Police, social workers, and alot of embarrasment! From that time to a week before Christmas, six more false accusations followed. The last one I saw it coming…..because it was my week to be with my son Christmas, she uses the system and files a physical abuse on my son and her! ALL OF THE ACCUSATIONS WERE UNFOUNDED. The Judge ordered my visitation to resume at the Jan. 6th hearing. Guess what…..to this day I have yet to see my son.I am going out of my mind as each day goes by and my son continues to be brain washed and life is passing. Nobody seems to hear my crying pleads that she has pas disorder. The GAL assigned by the Judge seems to favor poor ol’ Mom and treats me as if I am a bad apple. I HAVE DONE NO HARM TO MY SON! I just can’t believe this is actually happening. Okay, well I believe I have enouph curcumstantial evidence and several points that shows her lying. I have a couple phone recordings recently of her next to my son making him a nervous wreck. He actually will not show any affection if she is any where near us. Once at my home he used to really feel comfortable and run around etc. However he now says he dont want to see me. I know he does, but he is fearfull of her. The past couple of years he asked me several times if I loved him? I cringe knowing that she is actually telling him that! Much more. Does anyone have any suggestions to help me win custodial custody after proving my case? A social worker who figured the Mom out says for me to subpeona her and her records also I should sue her.

  8. Here is my personal experience with Parental Alienation. Warning, strong language. I’d be interested in any feedback. I hope this video helps other people in similar situations. Thanks.

  9. It about time Parental Alienation is recognized in CT. I totally support this bill and the addition of PA to the DSM-5.( for more info stopchildsupport.weebly.com). The web site instructional is NOT for everyone but a legal solution for CT residents if your at your last resort.

    First let get PA submitted as a legal bona-fide disorder to the DSM-5. Go to Fathers & Familes.org for more info.

    Secondly there is a support group here in Massachusetts Parents against Parental Alienation (PAPA) with counselor Jeff Parks who is looking to expand in CT. His office and groups meet once a month in Framingham, Ma. They are on Yahoo.com groups and are looking to start a CT. chapter.

    Third: Till this bill becomes law there is a legal solution when Parents NO LONGER WANT TO SHARE …(warning its not for everyone…) for more info http://stopchildsupport.weebly.com.

    2 CT cases are listed here as precedents:

    Sullivan vs. Heikkinen KNO-FA03-0126634-S
    Debek vs B’haitai MMX-CV04-4000791-S

  10. I am concerned that accusations will be made with no proof especially when
    the parents are in the middle of sorting out the assets/alimony etc.
    From my experience my X accused me of not answering his calls. I asked
    3 times to see his phone records so I could compare them to mine so I
    could show the evidence that I was either answering the calls or immediately
    calling him back. He would not turn over his records and I had spent hours
    on mine itemizing them and I could show proof we called him 130 times over 3 months.
    His attorney went as far as putting me through a deposition with the GAL present.
    The deposition occurred right before our case went to trial. Instead of allowing me to see
    the records I was expected to verbally remember if I answered a call on a particular date
    at a particular time. We had already signed a parenting plan but the assets were not
    worked out. On the first day of trial his attorney wanted to open up his case with his phone
    calling accusation. The Judge threw it out because the parenting plan was done and basically
    told us that if we weren’t happy he would throw that out too and we could have a trial on both
    assets and parenting. Or course they didn’t want that because then the Judge would realize
    that my X only wanted the kids 3 nights a month so they dropped the issue. We were both paying
    $650/hour for our attorney’s and almost half as much for the GAL so you can imagine how much that
    issue costs us. After the assets were divided and Judged during the trial, I never heard another word
    about parent alienation and that was 5 years ago.

    So my question is, how are you going to prove that the phone calls are not being answered? For the $100 fine are they really going to spend the time looking at the phone records or are they going to just have the
    GAL write up a report that may be based on his or her opinion and not actual records. I really hope if this
    bill goes through someone gives it some thought or it will be used as a tactic in the divorce to
    make the other parent look bad in the hope of getting a better financial settlement. And we all know
    that kind of stuff happens all the time in family court which is one reason the courts are overcrowded.

  11. You are so right Judy. We haven’t even begun to design good ways to distinguish false allegations from real ones. Your story of huge legal bills for a nonissue is very common. This likely drives the system to be even more dysfunctional. If there is money to be made, some will always figure out how to exploit that.

  12. Most of these accusations are almost impossible to prove. Even in the case of phone calls,
    the GAL came to my deposition without first auditing the phone records. Don’t just assume
    that the evidence will be looked at by the GAL before you have a deposition or even before the
    attorney tries to bring it into court. If your X has a good attorney like mine did he will know how
    to keep evidence out of court. It would have taken a book keeper one hour to look at the records and
    compare them but instead we had 3 attorney’s for 2 hours listening to my deposition. The other
    type of accusations for parent alienation are even harder to prove. Please, Please give this bill
    a lot of thought or you will just replace one animal with another. The courts have really frowned
    on parents accusing each other of abuse without real evidence but now we are replacing that
    with this. I don’t see the difference.

  13. I have been accused of alienation and lost my children. I was their caregiver, their father never was involved, in fact resented them. His preferred method was picking them up by the hair or pulling it because it didn’t leave marks. My son covered his head when my ex was near him. I suffered more insidious abuse. This was until the divorce. They children were appointed a GAL. Children told gal of abuse. Their father is brilliant and charming- true jekyll and hyde.
    All I did was try to protected them. He’s had two Dcf investigations since- and he still has them, and they are truly heartbroken. However, they are too scared to ask anyone for help because of threats.
    I was accused, never denied access, even with a protective order, and now I can only talk to them for 30 seconds every other day on speaker phone with him next to them and see them 5 evenings and 2 or 3 days a month. When they are home over night, they ask of they could please sleep with me because they never have enough time to snuggle.

  14. A Resolution
    Designating the month of April, 2012 as “Stop Parental Alienation Awareness Month” in Illinois.
    WHEREAS, Parental Alienation the psychological term used to denote the unacceptable manipulative process used by one parent to alienate a child from the other parent by disparaging conduct or words to encourage the child to dislike or break communication ties with the other parent; and
    WHEREAS, This process is most often used in the course of the parents’ divorce or separation; and
    WHEREAS, While divorce is the most common situation when Parental Alienation is used, it also has been known to happen during the course of unhappy marriages or relationships that do not end in divorce, as one parent seeks the exclusive companionship and alliance of the children or of a particular child in the family; and
    WHEREAS, Parental Alienation can be viewed as a form of child abuse because it denies a child, through cruel manipulation, a loving a supportive relationship with both parents; and is not in the best interest of the child; and
    WHEREAS, the unhappiness bred by Parental Alienation has been known to lead to child kidnapping, murder and suicide, or other destructive behavior as has been reported in the media; and
    WHEREAS, Awareness of Parental Alienation and its negative consequences on family relationships, and on children caught in this unhealthy negative web between his or her parents, will help to highlight this problem and lessen its occurrence; therefore be it
    RESOLVED, That the House of Representatives designate the month of April, 2012 as “Stop Parental Alienation Awareness Month” in Illinois.

  15. In my opinion, once parents STOP using children as pawns for their own needs, parental alienation will go away. Children are very impressionable and when their primary caretake uses their influence to gain control, it’s child abuse. A child is HALF their mother and HALF their father. An Alienating Parent needs to work out their control issues with a therapist and leave their chidlren out of the conflict. Children can’t process adult issues. Young children don’t have critical thinking skills when they’re 8-12 years of age therefore distorting the truth or being dishonest is not in a child’s best interest. They will have major trust issues when they reach adulthood because the two people in their lives who mean more than anything in the world are not trustworthy. Children need to be sheltered from this conflict. Parents who like to use the excuse that they’re only protecting their child from the other parent is using this as a scapegoat. Absent sexual, physical or psychological abuse, no parent needs to FEEL the obligation to protect their child from the other parent. What makes that parent feel he/she needs to take on that role? Only those who want to hide behind it. Let your child have a relationship with both parents. Let parents do the best they can and let children be children. My heart and love goes out to all children and parents(targeted and alienating parents) because I have to believe even an Alienating Parent doesn’t want to damage their children… at least I hope not. God Bless these families and extended familiesl

  16. The problem is, and the pattern is there is sexual and/or physical abuse and the parent who tries to protect the child is the one ultimately alienated from the child. That’s really what happens. Connecticut is too arrogant to look at that. Incentives exist for keeping conflict going and it is nit to benefit if either litigant or children as it is costly. The parent who has the money wins. Only a sick disturbed person wants to eliminate a parent without cause. Look at who uses the excuse and look where they get funding.

  17. Parent Alienation is real. It needs to be recognized. And it is not always done in a situation wherein abuse of any sort is present. In my husband’s scenario, it in fact was done out of spite and malice. It was done so his daughter didn’t grow up knowing “2 fathers or having a step mother”. The last time we saw her she was 2. It is NOT hard to manipulate a 2 year old or brainwash with lies that “daddy doesn’t want you.”.. Oh, I guess “daddy didn’t show this week”… until that child no longer expects him to show up. That was NEVER the case. 3 years later he’s still fighting.
    His ex counted on a flawed and bias system. She then married into the military. We just learned of a “whereabouts” for them, but my husband still doesn’t know even where his little girl is. We’ve done nothing wrong. He’s done nothing but love his daughter, marry and add more children to his life. Children that are in fact his daughter’s siblings. One she knew about and was excited for. The other she doesn’t have the clue.

    We spend nights awake… wondering where she is, what she’s doing, if she still plays soccer and volley ball with them like she did with us…. if she still loves to sing and dance and wants to play with my flute…. If she’s more into Princesses now than Elmo….. We recall every little memory…. Things she did, said….

    Parent alienation is NOT always to “protect” a child. PROVE there’s abuse. PROVE the man has a criminal record, that he’s unstable, that he’s caused his child harm (I say man, because more often this happens in cases of father, but don’t be naive- it happens against women too).

    A 2 year old doesn’t know animosity. Does not know hate or lies… A two year old is manipulated to believe what’s placed in front of her. And after 3 years of being denied her father and only hearing her mother’s twisted version of “he didn’t want you” but “you have a new daddy now” so that’s all that matters lies…. You tell me who she’s going to believe or what she’s going to think….

    It won’t be long before she even remembers she had another father. That’s not right. She deserves her father. She deserves to know his love and how hard he is fighting to have her and wants to be with her. She deserves contact with her siblings…
    She deserves so much more than she’s getting all because one parent wants control and can’t be civil or truly act in best interest.

  18. My husband and I are dealing with our daughter (41 years of age) who has alienated us from our Grandchildren and is trying to destroy the relationship between her daughter (12 years old) and her Dad. My daughter works for the State of Ct. in the criminal justice system as a clerk. We have been thru the DCF route where we felt that we were dismissed for no reason except our daughters connection to “state employees”. The Dad is now married and has two young children that our Grand Daughter misses tremendously, as they live in the midwest. Our daughter has manipulated, brainwashed and bullied both children and we have been unable to prove what is happening to the children as they live with her and a puppet master boyfriend that is also a part of the abuse against the children. The small glimpses we get of them are heartbreaking to say the least as we can see their dispair and we are unable to help them. I have hired an attorney to represent Dad and I am in the process of hiring an attorney for Grandparents Visitation which is also written law but has not been acted on by our legislative body. We worked hard all our lives, paid our taxes , and looked forward to having our family intact and healthy. Now our whole family has been dragged into this nightmare and we have learned that Criminals have more rights than Grandparents, Parents and Children. The family court system in this COUNTRY is terribly broken. At what point will the legislators in our country and states begin to work on these types of huge problems instead of passing more stupid laws and ignoring the things that are eroding the family?

  19. This bill is great but I see what others are concerned about. Here is my take on what needs to be done:

    Mandatory Certification and Training for all Judges, Counselors, Therapists, Attorneys, Agencies and GAL’s that want to deal with High Conflict Divorce/Custody/Visitation Cases. Any professional or Court agent who wants to work with these type families must get specialized training that leads to certification. The Certification Program would include:
    1. Educational Awareness of Judges, Agencies (DCF/CPS) and so on
    2. Proposing better standards for Family Court that include court orders for
    a. Use of the 167 Red Flag Behaviors to determine PAS
    b. Court orders for Specialized Counseling for the Adults involved
    c. Court orders that include graduated consequences/penalties for contempt and non-compliance or impeding of relationships.
    i. Community Service with Children who have no parents.
    ii. If a parent refuses to allow a child to go with the other parent on their parenting time, that parent should not be allowed to receive any support or be allowed to have contact with the child until they seek counseling and change their ways.
    1. Child Support Placed into an Escrow account that collects interest until the aggressive parent stops impeding and the children began to have a healthy positive relationship with the alienated/targeted parent
    iii. Fines
    iv. Weekend Jail
    v. Supervised Visitation
    vi. Loss of Custody after 3 contempt of court orders for visitation and counseling

  20. Many cases are the opposite, the mother is the nurturing parent and the father is the alienating parent. As in my case. Many times too the alienating parent dosnt realize what they are doing, its just part of who they are so “fixing” them is not an option. More information is needed for the courts and professionals involved to help the nurturing parent so the children arent given to the alienating parent.

    I just called Blumenthal, The bill 6085 is sitting on a stack on someones desk. We need to rally together to get this bill going and with the appropriate wording, as Joan mentioned, so its fair and helps the children.

  21. Allegations of Domestic Violence is a primary tool used to deny one parent from having a relationship with the children. Most of these allegations are from Women who want to get a “leg up” on custody or divorce. Yet, when a

    Male makes serious allegations to the police regarding DV it is often ignored despite evidence.

    1. There must be training to spot this sort of activity.
    2. There should be safeguards for the accused protecting their civil rights.
    3. There must be an accelerated investigation to determine if there is any evidence. If there is no evidence, then all charges should be dropped expeditiously.

    4.If the accuser has a history of false allegations, they should be prosecuted under existing perjury laws.

    5. In questionable DV cases where there is no evidence, both parties should be required to go to DV classes, and BOTH parties should have access to equal resources.

  22. I am in favor of the bill. I am currently the victim of PA (the Target Parent). I have an ex who is a complete control freak and if she doesn’t get her way, she gets so irreverent, I cannot deal with her. With her, it’s always about the money. I have paid my support payments since the day the orders were issued and never missed a payment. I have also paid for many other items and activities over and above my orders without complaint. I have also not been in a serious relationship for the first eight years I was divorced… living with my mom so I could have some money to enjoy life and have some money in my pocket to spend. This lifestyle enabled my generosity when the ex asked me to pay for something, i was able to do it. I recently entered into a serious relationship with a woman… now mind you, my ex is re-married and has a child with her new husband. We recently purchased a beautiful new home in the country on 3 1/2 acres so I am now obligated to pay a monthly mortgage and have to watch my expenditures. My ex recently asked me to pay for 50% of private school for our daughter and I had to decline due to my new financial obligations. Well she just could not accept no for an answer so she has embarked on a Parental Alienation campaign against me. She has my daughter turned against me now and she no longer wants to see me (its been 6 months). I am at my wit’s end about what to do. I call and text my daughter regularly and tell he I love her and she is welcome in my life any time she chooses to be there. I am afraid to go to her house to try to pick her up for fear that my ex might call the police and I may end up in trouble with the law (even thogh I have never caused any sort of problem or have never been abusive or violent), I am just afraid she might do something to hurt me out of anger. Basically, she is so jealous about the relationship I now have, and the fact that I have stopped paying for things I am not obligated to pay for, that she is simply targeting me out of hatred and doing everything she can to damage my relationship with our daughter.
    So I favor punishment for those who engage in PA. It can’t happen fast enough as far as I am concerned!!

  23. I am being falsely accused of parental alienation by a man who until he recently got married, wanted nothing to do with his child for 11 years. His lawyer is cunning and dishonest and sadly winning. Any unhappiness my child displays towards this man, no matter how justified is seen an my doing. I have now been threatened by two judges with losing custody to this absentee father who lives thousands of miles away, and it isn’t near over. His lawyer specializes in this and alienation is his go-to claim I have been told. Does anyone recommend a good attorney in CT who specializes in countering these types of false allegations?

  24. Penalty not enough. First offense: loss of custody. Second offense: Incarceration of not less that 3 months or not more than 5 years.

  25. I totally agree something needs to be done about PARENTAL ALIENATION. This does exist, I watched it happen 1st hand with my brother-in-law. Had I not been in court to witness the craftiness and habitual lies that came out of the mouth of his ex, I would have never believed it. She pulled every trick in the book, and is a pathological liar, and a very incompetent mother. The judges were inconsistent. One judge should stay with the case. Many of the judges on this case didn’t seem to care what my brother-in-law or his family had to say, despite the fact there were police reports of domestic abuse with one of many of Sherry’s live-in boyfriends. She provided an unstable environment for her children,(and still does) she got herself on welfare. They move from place to place, because she gets evicted, even lied to get herself on section 8 here in CT. and was evicted from that place because she neglected to pay the remainder of her rent from section 8, as well as was caught in yet, another lie. She had her children participate in school fund raisers and did not turn the money in. A letter from the school principal stating so was given to the judge, and it wasn’t even discussed. She lied to get her children a free tuition in local catholic schools, Including East Catholic, in Manchester, Ct. She said she had a BRAIN TUMOR and was getting treatment at Sloan Kettering, but couldn’t substantiate it. She was caught in a lie with the court- appointed atty. for the children on their 1st supervised visit, said she was in New York, yet we caught her in town at her son’s baseball game! The children’s atty. never brought this up, among other numerous lies she caught her in. None of this mattered to the judge.” Judges: if you read this, buck up.” Many of the judges I saw in action were pathetic and completely unfair, and most importantly, not in favor of the “best interest of the children.” Why would such relevant, factual informat ion be dismissed? You are dealing with the lives of children. What you decide impacts them for life! Remember, I attended every court session, along with many of my brother-in-law’s family members, whom I might add, were very loving and supportive of his children, enriching their lives to the fullest. This has all been taken away from them. They are now stuck with a lousy mother, and an alcoholic grandmother with an alcoholic live-in boyfriend-that is their family now. All of their numerous loving aunts, uncles and cousins on their Dad’s side are just a memory to them. It’s very sad, because they were so close to all of us, especially my 4 children. BUT, WHO HAS LOST THE MOST: THE CHILDREN, OF COURSE!!!!!!!!!!! To the real victims, the children: I hope someday you find out the truth. Your Dad has all of the court transcripts, and they don’t lie. It is unfortunate you have had to live moving around, including the hotel you lived in for so long before the state of Ct. could find housing for the 3 of you, which was recent. If only you had contacted me to let me know how bad things were for you, I would have welcomed you with open arms.

  26. Agreed. “The best interest of the child” is far below “the best interests of the GAL or the psychologist or the dysfunctional family court system.” It is a sad story. I didn’t read anything here that states the children do not want to be with their father, just that their mother is a liar, incompetent and neglectful. She’s in good company with many others. That’s not Parental Alienation. Parental Alienation is a theory based on junk science put forth by Dr. Gardner, a misogynist who supported pedophilia and rape, later stabbed himself to death due to his own psychosis. If you do subscribe to this, the basis of the accusations of “Parental Alienation” state that the mother is brainwashing the kids AGAINST their father and the children refuse visitation. PA is a tool for abusers to continue to abuse their victims after the divorce in a most egregious way and a way in which the mother can not resist, by abusing the children – otherwise known as Domestic Violence by Proxy. My ex-husband was convicted of sexual and physical abuse. And now 6 years of non-stop litigation later, we have just undergone our second psychological evaluation because he believes that since he is such a wonderful, loving father, the only explanation for why my sons don’t want to be with him is something I, the wicked, vengeful (happily remarried) mother did to them. He neglects to accept responsibility for the fact that my children soiled themselves when their father came to get them – totally scared to be alone with him – nightmares of being murdered by him (at 6 years old), diarrhea (after visits), anxiety, school phobia, academic failure, learning difficulties, and depression to name just a few. Two weeks ago, my 11 year old said he wanted to commit suicide so that he didn’t have to be with father again and then bowed his head in his hands and fell into a deep, soulful cry. The school psychologist intervened. I haven’t sent him or my younger son on visitation since. I will face this in Court and fight for my children. Yet over the years, I have been told by the courts and psychologists “ongoing contact with their father is in the best interest of the children.” This is what you are fighting for. Child abuse. However, I have found a mountain of scholarly research that supports just the opposite. On-going contact with an abusive parent is detrimental to children. No, we don’t adjudicate according to a different set of laws due to the DV. The abusive parent is granted the same right to file frivolous motions to keep me in court and depleting my bank account, money which should be going into my children’s college funds. Meanwhile, family court psychologists and lawyers call our case “high conflict” instead of “domestic violence” (as it was called in the criminal court) and say we have a communication problem. Everyone into therapy, further feeding the abusers need for power and control over his victims. Six therapists later, fear of a parent is something that cannot be Pavlov-dog conditioned out of children who have suffered documented abuse. And why would we want to? Fear is an adaptive behavior to keep us safe. Psychologists see a cash-cow in the Family Court. And they are a dime a dozen. Good luck finding a psychologist who truly serves your family’s best interests. My experience has been they just as ego-driven, money-hungry, fear-mongering as the next. And they want their thousands up front. They produce shoddy reports based on very little information without impunity. One size fits all approach – everyone has a diagnosis and they happen to have a referral for you. What a coincidence. Don’t perpetuate a very broken system for more adversarial grounds. I have no problem communicating as evidenced by the 3″ binder of emails I have sent to keep him informed. My ex-husband is currently blaming me for, you guessed it, Parental Alienation, in true abusive-male profile. Clearly, my children have suffered abuse, as the police, DCF, Family Relations, teachers, and the school psychologist have seen. Do not allow this tool of choice by abusive men to continue to abuse mothers and children post-divorce. I didn’t read anything in this passage about psychological evaluations or Family Relations investigations, which my children and I have had to undergo 2 of each because of my ex-husband just won’t leave me alone. I do not prevent the children from visitation or from calling him, which is the real basis of PA. They don’t like him for all of the same reasons everyone else doesn’t like him. He’s toxic. I am also a 20 year veteran teacher grades 7 – 12, having taught both in the inner city and currently in an affluent community. If children could be brainwashed, our children would be under our control, wouldn’t they? Kids can not be brainwashed when they know the opposite to be true. True loving bonds between a nonresident father and his children, as my current husband has with his 3 children, ages 10, 12, and 14, can not be broken by a mother who bad-mouths the father. I’m living this. Also, I have seen the intense damage done to children whose parents engage in a tug-of-war over them – cutting, alcoholism, suicide, promiscuity, aggressiveness, behavioral problems, and academic failure. Fortunately, I have a dynamic attorney who is currently preparing our case for a hearing. My children will not travel that path because they have a bitter, angry, resentful father who needs to accept he is divorced and move on with his girlfriend.

    Passing this harmful legislation grants abusers access to their most innocent victims – the children. Yet I will continue to fight for my children and the many other victims of domestic violence who are being stalked through excessive litigation in the family courts. If need be, put me in jail. But I will not stand by and be an accomplice to child abuse, which is what this Bill will do — allow child victims to continue suffer sexual, emotional, verbal, and physical abuse. This Bill violates human rights. We are granted the right to live free from fear and with equal protection under the law, including children. If you support the Alienation Bill, you support child abuse and domestic violence.

    See for yourself the damaging implications of Parental Alienation. Visit Time to Protect the Children and read about the admissibility of PA into court. And the fact that psychologists are losing their licenses for testifying to Parental Alienation, and rightfully so. Children are hard wired to love their parents….
    Children Against Court-Ordered Child Abuse

  27. Like everyone said, there are pluses and minuses to this law. Pluses: PA must be a crime to try to stop it – it destroys lives. Minuses: There will be abuses by lots of people: unscrupulous parents and lawyers/psychologists out to make a buck. It is very sad.

  28. Does anyone know what the house bill or most recent law in CT that was passed regarding Parent Alienation? I’m finding this site a couple weeks after all of the testimony and we need desperate help. A child’s mind is being brainwashed, three years of alienation tacticts, constant breaking all contact it’s at it’s most extreme point. Full custody motion has been filed and we need to be able to quote specific regulations as the custodial parent clearly is not doing anything in the best interest of the child, she hasn’t followed any court orders at all in three years, was finally found in contempt but then violated a mandatory visitation two days later. I can’t believe how DCF and the Meriden Family Court judges are so FN blind and unwilling to step up. This child is now lying to police, DCF and her other parent stating she witnessed things that never happened, total brain washing and it’s incredibly disturbing. Court counseling was mandated 6/2013 but custodial parent keeps making excuses and hasn’t followed any orders. It’s time this poor child go be with a parent who won’t use her as a pawn and not alienate her and get her into counseling, but the judge seems to be dragging his feet even though he’s witnessed no movement from the custodial parent. Lie after lie with proven documentation of the lies and no movement. What is up with the court system? We need the house bill numbers or citations of the regulations passed on parent alienation in CT asap! thanks!

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